there are millions of ppl out there...in the end it just goes down to one.
sometimes i am scared, driven to the dead end

but I know there is something beautiful in all my perfection,
a beauty that she held up for in times of darkness
a strength that cannot be taken away.


jzu watched a movie 'crazy beautiful'....sure one of my all times romance fave. so sweet, so heart warming... yeah i know mr ong here is nth of that guy or can live that kind of life. wat does it feels like to be living like an american kid... are they wat ppl preach as rebllious, why are shows always portraying the bad side of them...are they really as simple minded as they show. well personally me feel that our media suck.. they play shows of little values... little ponderation... children grow up with pokemon and power rangers.... wat values do these shows preach. a day ago i saw my bro watching royale battle.. one word to describe it, it suck. wats the msg they are trying to pull across??? that we will kill our friends and love ones when we are desperate??? the ring.... wats so nice about getting yourself scared... oh i paid 8 bucks juz to get myself scared. in my opinion, thats utterly a waste of money and brain cells. well sorry if i hurt your feeling out there, but i kinda think we shd not have so many jap shows airing on tv. the kind of values they preach, the kind of ppl who produce them, shd nv be role models for our children. juz look at how sinister their society is... children not going to sch, wearing short skirts flirting ard.. don't even think of the future live life by the day. wat kind of society is that. ironically they produce top notch scientist and professional... wonder how they do it. well curious i am, enlightened i wanna be, i wish the sg media will be more selective in their programs. ha and now wat i can think of are those little children playing blade blade wah wat kind of unrealistic show is that one... so stupid. well whr is mickey mouse??? why isn't he on the tv list naymore?? have the children grown out of it??? well i still remember yrs ago, every sun morning without fear at 9 am i will be watching mickey mouse club... hahah can u guys remember those moments??? and an hr later there will transformers... well i used to have a crush on mickey mouse club presenter, she is so sweet. hahah oh well i grown out of it. cynical i am, perhaps mickey mouse has been taken over by pokemon.. both cute creatures which children go gaga on. sigh life was so much easier back then... always remember those sweet childhood moments... cycling at the beach every other sun... visiting changi village every hols. climbing up AHS flight of steps juz to get to my grandma's house.... thinking of all the ghost stories... hhaah i juz went to eat at blk85 with drew and hong in the afternoon.. my oh my things have def changed. now there are so much spot light... so much commercialisation by the media... and the 1.50 nasi lemak is no longer there. sigh knew the uncle will go off one day, love his nasi lemak. 1.50 for two chicken wings, ikan bilis, and a square egg. hahah who can forget the 1.20 carrot cake which my aunty always order at $1 juz to save 20 life was so simple and naive then... everyday will be a new day to jump ard.. not a care of work, no com to cramp u down. how kids have changed. my fat cousin is such a bummer. he juz sit ard at home watching tv playing computer... sigh if he doesn't do sports in near future.. i will think he is a faggot... while almost gay. hahha wats wrong with that... a guy who doesn't run ard... don't like to sweat???

well the world have changed. dear friend if u are reading now... thinking back?? how did i know u??? how did we first meet??? do u remember or i'm juz another friend in your busy life???
well i don't remember much bout pri sch life except unhappy memories... my pri life was filled with memoirs of the beach, pigeons, my grandma's house,life at arab str... classmates are way out of the question cos i was always oestrocised by the class for being the stupid one, even the teachers hated me... calling me names and saying how stupid i was. haahh when i i was young i always wanted to burn down the sch, even though till today i still feel like. how will life be diff if i wasn't from there... wat if i was from marist or tao nan??? wat if my life was diff... wat ifi wan't fat in pri sch, will i jhave fit in better... will i be given a diff nick???questions questions questions.... hahha wat a day of reckoning

victorians we are in and out
the spirit of victoria will follow us throughout
knowing the way and showing the way
nv giving up till thy seize the day

am i proud to be a victorian of course i am.... well proud is not the best word... will say priviledged, not everyone can be one... not everyone can come out from it sane.. not everyone can come out of it feeling fulfilled.
sigh i'm sad of how the sch culture is changing... how some things are not the way they always be. when were we known as ruggats when were we known as chao ah beng???
well i kinda was put off by this vjc tutor who hates vs to the core... but sigh wat can i say... after all i respect her. well she told me the teachers are juz a bunch of lazy bums... well frankly i agree with that pt... cos many of them are really not at all victorians juz some teachers who juz do it for the sake of earning a living...
but VS students don't make it big in society... wat kind of rubbish is that??? u mean u want us to be like some sch who juz love getting in the news.. putting up an article in the newspaper even though there is nth great about it... sigh times have changed or maybe it has always been this way. ppl view achievement and fame more than anything well... VS students pulling down the grades of vjc??? well i'm not there can't judge.... but def those brothers of mine have done alot for the college not like they are some china scholars who are selfish, and juz suck the sch dry...sigh its really saddening to hear such stuff... esp when i 'm sure the alumni ppl out there are proud of VS..... not for the fame which we never boast about.. but def cos its our ala mater who mould us to wat we are today... think this is a selling speech?? its juz the truth

well to all the vs ppl out there.... wish u all the best in wat ever u do... and may these fine memories stay with us forever yeah don't be belittle by the ppl around u... cos ultimately u decide whether wat u did is a success or failure.... juz aim to the best no matter whr u are

woah one week of As finally over... hahha stress.. nope... well if u look at me now u will think i am juz an ordinary sch boy going to sch... hahhaa wat is there to be stress about man... well frrankly looking at another angle... i think its really very challenging and well fun... i mean of course if u got study for it and ready to go pia then sure fun one lah... its not every day u can take the A levels one... haha i kinda think this like a race... well i learned the hard way that in a race... u need to have fun... so that u can come out your mo qi... wats mo qi... its like duan chen feng playing ball at basketball court... UK shyam running his 500th sprint... the one and only johnny wilkinson on the rugby pitch.. wah that guy is pro man... if i have his talent woaHH!!!well wat do these cool ppl have in common besides working thier butt off... think they were really having fun..
so well call me crazy... but i suddenly see a love in studying hahhaa... well at least i have a chance to study u know... rather then waiting at the chay kway teow stall everuyday serving those fat bastards ahhaa
well no matter wat results i get next yr, i have absolutely no qualms man... cos i really live a fulfilled jc life.. nth more i can ask for.

well i am love sick.. i can't even get close to this sweet devine...
well but then me juz happy i'm still able to sms her once in a while.. feel contented that way.well life may not always be a smooth journey but ultimately, u are the one who decide wat kind of life u want. well i juz wanna live a satisfied life every single day.... no worries juz fulfillments... juz a few days ago... i met 'her' in my dreams... crazy if u ask me... hahah well i juz remembered how charmed i was with her beauty... her sweet smile, her confident lovely voice... well man.. hahaha and u know wat the girl in my dreams told me," go conc on your running man.... u gonna be national first one day... hahaha funny how my dreams can turn out to be... so wild so sth which makes u happy... well it juz feels good to fall in love all over again.. sigh i juz needa have a crush on these hard to get gals.... hahaha but i'm proud for the fact that i tried to get clsoer to her... well if u are reading this and don't know me well, u may think i'm despo.... but if uknow me for a long time... u will know that i'm no flirt... well a kind of queer feeling i feel now..... well wats the sign??? of me getting such sweet dreams these few days. well juz i few days ago... i dreamt of my choir pals in VS... those juniors and seniors... so ceool everyone coming back all over again in my dreams!!! hahha welll some are totally out of the world... like my GP tutor thanking me... that will nv happen cos im def her most hated student hahaha...

overjoyed I am today
the simple testi u sent me juz make my day
is it fate i wonder
or the power of internet it is definitely a wonder
juz a month ago I wrote about my passing with you
and a mth later I received a testi written by you
is it a joke, someone tell me
so coincidental how can it be
frends tell me its exam stress getting to me
but i really hope its not, pls don't let it be
a victim of love which made me shy
2 yrs unattached ppl wonder why
am I gay of course not!
I am juz a old fashion guy who is waiting for my devine
glazing the stars thinking of you
really wish I will have the chance to know you